Meaningless

Same thing,
Same person,
Same environment
That I could never escape from any of that.

It is cruel when you forced to face something that you unable to settle.
It is an endless mishap that bring you endless vexation.
Sometimes,
I ask myself,
Why am I so 'lucky'?

When I was being informed that I got it,
I was happy indeed.
But at the same time,
A trouble is waiting for me to be settled.
Not grammar mistake,
A trouble IS waiting for me,
But not a trouble WAS waiting for me.
I haven't settle it.

Sometimes,
You need strength to do something
But just nobody can give you the motive force.
It's no point for you to endeavor to do something
But gain nothing eventually besides disappointed.

I know what should I let go but,
what I deserve to get?